It Was Always Your Choice
by SteelTides
Summary: Zuko begs his uncle for forgiveness after his betrayal in Ba Sing Se. From Sozin's Comet part 2 (3x19): A fleshing-out of one of the most touching scenes in the series (direct quotes from the show used and do not belong to me).


Zuko watched as his uncle stirred from his sleep, across the floor from where Zuko knelt. He sat patiently while his uncle sat up and stretched, with his back to his nephew. Yawning loudly, he eventually became aware of Zuko's presence, but remained still and did not acknowledge him.

Zuko swallowed, a lump in his throat. Though he had run over in his head many times what he wanted to say, the words seemed to have evaporated. He had both longed for and feared this encounter for weeks, and he had no idea how his uncle now felt about him.

"Uncle," he began.

There was no response. "I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me. But I just want you to know, I am so, _so _sorry Uncle."

The tears had started streaming down his cheeks almost as soon as he'd begun uttering his apology, but he didn't bother brushing them aside. "I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you, but I'm trying to make it right. I'm finally on the right path, just like you wanted."

Zuko was reaching out, imploring, but still his Uncle did not move.

"Uncle?" The word was trembling and tentative, for fear of angering the man he had betrayed.

At last his uncle stood and turned, agonisingly slowly, to face him. It felt like forever. But when his Uncle's eyes finally met his own, Zuko immediately wished they hadn't. The loving warmth that had always greeted his nephew was no longer there, replaced by a hardened, penetrating gaze that bored into Zuko like steel and drowned him in disappointment and disdain.

"You dishonoured me." His uncle's voice held no affection, offered no reassurance.

"I'm so sorry…" whispered Zuko, lips trembling. He was paralysed, rooted to the spot.

"I did everything I could, and you made your decision. From the moment you turned and followed your sister out of that cave, I no longer had a nephew."

Zuko's heart broke. He thought he had known pain when he was banished from his home, but losing his father's love which he now doubted had ever existed was nothing compared to the despair that rose up and threatened to crush him at those words. Despair at forever losing his uncle's trust, which had never faltered, his support, which had been ever willing…his love, which he had carelessly thrown away.

Panic and desperation gripped Zuko.

"No, please!" Bitter tears burst forth anew, and his breath caught in his throat. Already on his knees and not knowing what else to do, he threw himself to the floor with his arms stretched out in front of him, bowing low to his uncle.

"Please, Uncle!" he cried into the ground. "Please forgive me. I'll do anything you ask…I-I don't know what to do without you. I'm begging you, please…" If his uncle could not forgive him, then who ever could?

His uncle took a step towards him.

"Zuko."

He didn't dare look up. "Please, please…" he sobbed in earnest.

"Zuko, there is nothing more I can do for you." His uncle's voice was softer. Zuko felt a hand on his shoulder, and he glanced up. "Your path has been tangled. It is you who must still find a way to right the wrongs. And only you can do that."

Zuko's breaths were ragged. He was so confused. He was trying to make things right, wasn't he? But there seemed to be no way to undo the mountains of hurt and shame he had caused. He didn't know what to do. He was exhausted, the anger that once fuelled him gone. He was drained of everything and left with only sorrow. He needed his uncle, and hated himself more than ever for taking everything for granted.

"I…Uncle, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness." He bowed his head again. "Please…tell me what to do to earn it."

"I have already forgiven you."

"You…what?"

It seemed incomprehensible. Zuko slowly raised himself, unsure, tensing for something else to come. Surely he'd missed something.

"I forgave you long ago," his uncle breathed. "It was always your choice. And though you walked away from your destiny and from me, if you choose, I would be overjoyed to have my nephew back."

His uncle smiled, and the warmth was back, dancing in his eyes like the embers of a fire that burned steadily in the night.

Zuko sat stunned.

"You're…not angry? I thought you would be furious with me."

"I was never angry with you. I was sad, because I was afraid you'd lost your way."

"I did lose my way," Zuko murmured remorsefully.

"But you found it again."

Zuko wasn't sure if it was the light, but his uncle's eyes now looked like they were glistening. Steady, comforting hands laid on his shoulders. His uncle pulled him into a tight embrace, and once again Zuko felt tears bud and stream, this time vital, cleansing, like rain that washes away the remnants of a storm and clears the sky on a new day.

He closed his eyes, and a calm he hadn't known in years began to set in.

"Thank you, Uncle."


End file.
